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Gate gate paragate parasangate bodhi swaha
Gone gone, real gone; beyond even the most gone, only in going that gone is there awakening (The Heart Sutra)
In this Issue:
*Focus: Legacy
*Yoga of Nutrition
*Thursday $10 class
*Spring Renewal Retreat: May 12-15 2011
*Lahiri School of Yoga Apprentice Track
*Telluride Yoga Festival
Namaste Visitor,
Blessings for a most joy-filled and bountiful new year. In addition to the offerings listed in this newsletter, I will soon be announcing the next Women of the Woods, a mentoring program for yoga teachers, and a HAWAII retreat! Wherever and however our paths cross, I look forward to seeing you again soon.
Legacy: Ruins and Life Lived
I had the great fortune of traveling in Greece this December with my beloved aunt, a Byzantine scholar and historian whose work took us to a 12th century church in Thrace. Spending this time with my aunt was special for more than the obvious reasons--of course Greece was amazing. Yet I was equally (if not more) blessed by the opportunity to spend time with my father’s sister, a 72-year old dynamo whose indefatigable energy and passion was absolutely inspiring. As the only surviving sibling of my father, my aunt Nancy is precious to me. She has lived through the tragic death of her younger sister, my aunt Francis, in an automobile accident in Paris at the age of 48. She emerged from a painful divorce, buried both her father and mother, and had her heart broken by betrayal of the harshest kind. And in 2004, she lost her younger brother, my father, in an instant.
Though Nancy has a daughter, who herself has borne two little ones over the past couple years, I know these losses weigh heavily upon her. And yet she is alive--fueled by an energy and enthusiasm that awes me. Whether scaling the steep paths of the Acropolis in Athens or shooting photos of ancient frescoes with mitten-covered hands, Nancy lives. Quaffing rich red wine and and savoring local delicacies or navigating they icy back roads near the Turkish border of the Evros river delta, Nancy lives. She is engaged, present, and graceful no matter what happens. Luggage lost? Oh well! Strikes in Athens? So be it! Sub-zero temperatures to work in? Let’s get to work! Everything she does, she does with a kind of enthusiasm you expect from a teenager. Nancy lives, breath by blessed breath, infused with the awe and wonder of someone who truly greets each moment as an adventure waiting to happen.
The losses of our loved ones, the pain of broken hearts, and the uncertainty of a life flipped upside down has not left us shriveled up and afraid to love...or live. Nancy reminded me that these experiences are a part of the legacy I carry forward, but we don’t have to waste our energy attempting to re-build the same structure over and over, as if we can contain what has slipped through the cracks of time. We can choose to watch the form change and fall apart, and from that space, seek the true legacy of what can never be contained in a form. The love for my father has outlived his form, and indeed has grown stronger and more intense and complex in his absence, re-shaping and re-molding me with each breath over the years since he died. The losses give us space to build anew...moment by moment.
As I stood among ancient ruins in Greece, I was struck by the ongoing narrative of what is left behind--the crumbled foundations erupting in lush vegetation and decay, the brilliant paintings now soot-covered and disregarded or forgotten. Yet the ruins of one age become the foundation and starting place for the next, as we build again and again on the same sites with the same raw materials. At times, what made the ancient ruins so beautiful and powerful for me was not the echo of what they once were; what made them so striking was how naturally they have been woven into the fabric of this present moment. Blocks of stone and marble, now chiseled and chipped, rest in the nesting embrace of verdant soft vegetation. What “was” has been shaped into what “is,” participating in the dance, not by insisting on old form or structure, but by giving way to and letting go for what is happening now.
Like a call and response chant across time and space, there is perfect poetry in the careful construction and articulation of a people that eventually, but inevitably, falls away into formless fodder for the next voice, the next vision. In this I was reminded that the meaning and substance of legacy is not contained by the form that must one day dissolve. Something of the message remains in the in- between, in the evolution and dissolution of the form and foundation that is becoming, and unbecoming.
What is our legacy? According to the framework of the chakras, legacy is associated with our second and third chakras--our creative center and our ego center. Though creation is largely the faculty of swadhisthana chakra, what we wish to create as an expression of ourselves involves the energy of the jewel in the city, manipura, who it is we think we are--and who we think others see shining forth. Perhaps too often, like people across all time and space, we confuse the product of our lives for our lives themselves. We spend our energy and time worrying about being enough, producing enough, and measuring up to some idea or form we hold up--at arm’s length, untouchable and far from the heat of the heart. Away from the pulse of the life that is lived, moment by moment.
Upon my return from Greece, I came down with a merciless flu that eventually quite literally stripped me of my voice. Unable to do much more than squeak and croak and wait, I found a stillness and solitude that soothed like soul balm. Almost everything I do relies upon my voice--and all of a sudden I was muted and made to rest. I had no idea how much I needed the quiet sanctuary illness imposed upon me. And though my initial reaction to its disruption of all my careful and strategic plans was frustration and choice words, it didn’t take long for me to settle into the absolute perfection of the turn of events. Nothing--not the anxiety over money, fear of disappointing friends, disappointment about canceling my plans, or the frustrating lack of energy--not one of these predictable responses took the lead. Instead, I surrendered my need (or more precisely any hope) of controlling things and just let go. Like an ancient marble step in the loving hands of wild grasses, I let go.
In that letting go I realized just how often we push ourselves to produce something to show for our lives, and forget to live them. This is, sadly, a culture that reinforces the value of production, busyness. In my own illness I realized how chronically people finally succumb to sickness in order to be excused from the constant pressure to be, produce, and prove something. Reminded of the ruins, whose formlessness seems to demand an excuse, a story explaining where it all went wrong, I vowed in my silence to support everyone I know and love to take the time and space we need to let things fall apart and crumble a bit so we might build something new without apologies, without guilt.
What we build may crumble and shift and change over time, and in that shifting we may indeed feel insecure or unstable. But our legacy is not measured by the things we construct and so painfully maintain and attend. Our legacy is the living of our lives, with all the messy uncertainty and the joyous discoveries that continuously unfold in strange and perfect architecture. In The Bhagavad Gita, Krishna tells Arjuna that our actions are pure when we are unattached to the fruits of the actions. When we build for the sake of building, knowing time and circumstance (and the love of the stone for the grass beneath it) will deconstruct and reinvent even our very foundation.
Our legacy is not what we produce, but the presence and love and energy with which we live our lives. When we surrender the fruits of all we create, when let the form go, stone by stone, back to the ever-shifting canvas of the earth below, we can live freely and completely engaged in the present moment. That is our legacy.
Just like Aunt Nancy.
May 2011 be a year of exploration, adventure, and the artistry of surrender. May you keep good and unapologetic company with yourself and those who work the stones beneath you to better guide your way to this moment.
Hari Om
Jessica
The Ethics, Art, and Practice of Eating to Embody Yoga
A class offered in 4 digestible courses:
Feb 12 1st Course (Taking Your Seat)
Feb 26 2nd Course (The Universal Vows and Practices)
March 19 3rd Course (Embodying Yoga: As Within, So Without)
April 2 4th Course (Integration and Activation)
1-4pm @ The Innerspace at Poor Richards 322 N Tejon Street Colorado Springs, CO Price:$100 for all 4 sessions; pre-registration and payment required
$35 per class for individual module registration or “drop-in”
Discovering Yoga: Foundations for Steady, Joyful Yoga
Suitable for beginners as well as more seasoned Yogis!
with Jessica Patterson and Tristen Faith
Thursdays 12:30-2 beginning January 13
The Innerspace at Poor Richards www.downtowninnerspace.com
322 N Tejon Street Colorado Springs, CO 80903
$10/class
Renewal weekend to reawaken and embody the whole self.
Rest, restore, and reconnect with your divine, shining self in sacred space and time. Join the blessed company of fellow travelers on the path. Bask in the unparalleled beauty of the Colorado western sunshine and honor your budding light. Jessica and Alessandro Gozzi will co-lead this extraordinary retreat. Full details available online at www.rootdownandgrow.com
The New Apprenticeship Immersion Track
Have you been wanting to move more deeply into your practice and become a Yoga Alliance-certified 200-hour RYT? Check out Lahiri School of Yoga, for whom I am a proud primary instructor. We are excited about our new Apprentice Immersion training, which offers the intimacy and intensity of an apprenticeship, supported by the dynamic community of a dedicated group. Learn more about Lahiri School of Yoga.
Don't miss the BEST yoga festival, right here in our backyard in beautiful Telluride. Contact me to learn how you can get $25 OFF your registration! I am honored to be an official Ambassador for the 4th Annual Telluride Yoga Festival, as this is an event that inspires, embodies, and transmits the true spirit of yoga. From the incredible presenters (like my beloved teachers, friends, and inspirations, Alanna Kaivalya and Mark Whitwell) to a commitment to ZERO WASTE, the TYF is unlike anything you have experienced. Don't miss it!
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